Reeling him in
18 October 2011, 11:28
The whole concept of catching a man and keeping him can be tricky. All the experts agree that it's essential to think long and hard before barging ahead on the strength of a superficial meeting or an idealised idea of romance.
"Rather than investing time trying to find ways to catch a man," advises psychologist Omphile Sebitloane. "It's more worthwhile to work on yourself, creating the most complete, desirable person you can be in all spheres – physically, emotionally, socially, intellectually and spiritually. When you're a well-balanced person, you'll automatically attract a man who can match your needs and aspirations in life."
There's also something intrinsically unhealthy about a single-minded pursuit of a man.
"To attempt to catch a man, come hell or high water, is equivalent to wanting to control or manipulate him," says Omphile. "That can be a daunting task, as controlling another person is close to impossible.
If he does allow himself to be "caught", the woman will be under constant pressure to keep him and reinvent herself and her bag of tricks."
Ultimately, she says, the only way to ensure lasting attraction is by understanding each other's true personalities, needs and qualities – and that's not something that can be rushed or rigged up.
Dr Eve's advice on catching a man...
• Be sure you really want him.
• Let him know you're interested in more than a casual sex experience.
• Don't sleep with him until you've spent enough time with him to know you really want to pursue this relationship.
..and on keeping him
• Keep yourself interesting as a person, not just as a pretty face.
• Devote time and energy to the relationship and work on deepening it.
• Make sure it's also fun and unpredictable.
• Don't cling. Your man needs an adult woman, not a needy child. Allow him his space, insist on your own and don't sublimate your needs and interests to his.