Lies lovers tell
25 October 2015, 17:22
Relationships are complicated things. Ever got the feeling that a lover's explanation you were listening to was missing some details?
We've cracked the lover's code.
Lie: We are just friends
Truth: Try as I might, this person just won't get into bed with me - yet
Lie: I worry about your health
Truth: If you think I am going to push you around in a wheelchair when you've got emphysema, you've got another think coming
Lie: I have never faked an orgasm
Truth: If you believe that, you'll believe anything
Lie: I like you as a friend
Truth: One step closer and I'll punch you on the nose
Read Also: 3 reasons women stay in bad relationships
Lie: I want you to be successful
Truth: Can you seriously see me living as a pauper until my inheritance comes through?
Lie: Of course you aren't fat
Truth: Pick up two more kgs and I'll hit the road
Lie: I'm not ready for a relationship
Truth: Not with you anyway, not now or ever
Lie: I have only had sex with one other person
Truth: I am not counting colleagues or one-night-stands
Lie: What's mine is yours
Truth: Touch my hi-fi or video recorder and you're dead. What's more, you don't even know about my shares
Lie: I'll love you forever
Truth: You are actually the third person I've said this to, but you know how these things go
Lie: I have to go out of town on business
Truth: The tall, dark and handsome guy from accounts is coming too.
Lie: I can't make it tonight - I have family commitments
Truth: An old girlfriend/boyfriend is in town and I am having dinner at the hotel
Lie: I need space
Truth: I have met someone else
Lie: I love you when you wash the dishes
Truth: This one is true - I will also tell you how much I love you when you fetch the kids, even though it is my turn.
Read Also: Why your relationship is like money
Lie: Of course I care about your parents
Truth: I just don't like to spend time with them
Lie: I'm not good enough for you - you deserve someone better
Truth: Actually I deserve someone better
Lie: It's not a problem at all, I understand
Truth: If you ever make me wait half an hour in the boiling sun for you again, I'll give you up for medical experiments
Lie: That outfit looks lovely
Truth: You look like Goofy, but we are already half an hour late
Lie: Of course I want to go shopping with you
Truth: What's in it for me?
Lie: I'm working late, but remember I'm doing it for us
Truth: I was the first one to manage to get a date with the new marketing manager
Lie: I'm not going to ask you again to pick up your underwear from the bathroom floor
Truth: I'll probably have to ask you another twelve thousand times
Lie: My cellphone was switched off last night, because I went to bed early
Truth: I was not alone
Lie: Of course he/she is not as attractive as you are
Truth: I can feel my nose growing longer
Lie: I love you just the way you are
Truth: What choice do I have anyway?
Lie: Sorry I didn't wait up for you
Truth: I sat in the dark in the sitting room and quickly ran to bed when I heard your car stopping
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