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Jobs you would rather die than do

12 December 2014, 13:55

Thought your job was horrible? Check out these, and then get back to us!

So some days you think you’ve just got the worst job in the world? The hours are too long, the pay’s too little and basically you’d rather be doing any other job right now than this one, but if you think you’ve got it bad…

Staff Training has compiled a short (and for your sake much revised) list of the worst jobs in the world in the hopes that when the work blues strike you’ll be able to reflect on all the reasons your job DOESN’T suck quite as much as you think it does.

We’ve left some of the more icky jobs (like “halitosis and fart smeller”, and we’re serious…) off the list because, well, euw (you probably didn’t want to read about that anyway, did you?), but we must warn you that what’s left is by no means a pretty picture.

1. Mosquito Researcher

In Brazil the mosquitoes are a bit smarter than in Africa, not falling for the usual traps set by scientists. The only way to catch mosquitoes in Brazil is for the researcher to offer himself as bait, being bitten sometimes up to 3 000 times in the process. Oh, did we mention that some of these mosquitoes transmit malaria?

2. Cat Food Quality Controller

Cats care about what they eat as much as we do. That’s why there are strict quality control tests performed on it before it’s allowed to hit the shelves. Jon Hanson from Britain describes some of the tests: The first involved dunking his head into a tub of cat food to detect (with his nose) its freshness; the second involved shoving his forearms into the cat food where he would feel for any bony bits; and the third involved actually prodding the food with his fingers so he could test how gristly it was. Gross.

3. Sewer Cleaner

If you thought Cat Food Quality Controller was bad you’ll love this one. Imagine being up to your knees, everyday, in a river of human excrement… We won’t go into too much detail here, suffice it to say that you get more job satisfaction on your worst day than these guys ever do.

4. Highway Roadkill Remover

Dodging traffic may be bad enough, but doing so with the intention of collecting the carcasses of animals unlucky enough to have been in the wrong place at the wrong time? No thanks.

5. Portable Toilet Cleaner

Let’s be honest, we only use these toilets when there are absolutely NO other options available. And even then we try to touch as few surfaces as possible and get out as quickly as a cat in a bath. Now spare a moment for the poor souls who, armed with little more than a plastic bag and a high-powered hose, have to clean as many as 60 of these a day.

Turns out your job is actually pretty darn cool, hey? 

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