It's okay to be single
05 April 2013, 16:01
You don't have to jump from one relationship to the next in the space of a week, says Miss_Muse.
How long should you wait before starting a new relationship after your last one ended in a fist-to-face way? If it was me, I would wait a long, long time but it seems people, especially women, struggle to be alone. I wonder why.
Maybe they don’t like themselves and that’s why they don’t like their own company. I don’t know, I’m speculating here.
I mean, come on now, you don’t need to be in a relationship with someone to hang out with them. The same goes for sex. If you ask me, sex with no strings attached is sometimes just what you need.
It takes time to get over a failed relationship and there are reasons why rebound relationships mostly fail.
The problem is, when you’re in a relationship with someone for longer than a week (or day in some cases), you tend to lose some of yourself.
For whatever reason you change your way of doing things; you see your friends less, you don’t read anymore because Honeybunch would rather you watch TV with him, and the list goes on.
After a breakup you have the perfect opportunity to find yourself again. And no, you don’t have to do it alone. Like I said, you can chill with men and have random sex but, hell, hold off on moving in together for, say, at least a year, okay?
Rather use the time to get back to you and do the things you couldn’t, before you fall into another relationship where you’ll change more of yourself for yet another man.
Now, some women are going to jump on me and tell me how they would never change or do things differently because they’re in a relationship.
But people change when they’re in relationships, they have to. Even if it is something as minor as having to stop hanging your bra over the bathroom door handle because Lovie doesn’t like it…that’s still change.
I suppose it’s compromise but you’re doing things differently because of another person. There’s nothing wrong with that - but sometimes women change too much and one day when they look at themselves in the mirror, they wonder who is looking back.
The point is, learn to be okay on your own and then, only then, go into a relationship. That way you can be sure that you won’t change major things about yourself because you’ll be happy with yourself just the way you are.
And if he doesn’t like it…there’s the door.
Miss_Muse is a Women24 reader and blogs on Women24's blogging platform. You can read more on her blog here.
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Have you ever found yourself going from one relationship to another in a short amount of time? Did it work out for you?