How to: One night stands
21 November 2014, 16:17
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These are just some of the names given to one-night stands. Yet, call them what you like, one-night stands do have their benefits – especially for all the single people out there who are not desperate for sexual activity with emotional commitment or future involvement.
One-night stands are not always planned and can happen for a number of different reasons. This usually depends on the situation and can vary from person to person.
But, make no mistake; there are rules to navigating a successful one-night stand.
- Choose someone hot (you don’t want to chew your arm off to escape in the morning)
- Go to her place (it will be neater than yours)
- Exchange numbers and alert a friend (there are psychos out there)
- Cover it up (think of all the other encounters they’ve had)
- Try every position (you won’t be able to when you eventually marry)
- Make lots of noise (give the neighbours something to talk about)
- Make an excuse to leave afterward (remember the no commitment rule)
- Not feel cheap (sex is your birth-right)
- Do it if you’re married (that’s called cheating)
- Forget to alert a friend (safety above all else)
- Go to your place if you have room-mates
- Just lay there (you can do that when you’re married)
- Expect an orgasm (it takes time for someone to know which buttons to press)
- Try to spoon in the morning (please see no commitment rule)
- Forget to have an exit excuse (the more absurd, the better)
REMEMBER: You’re single, not a stone. If we were meant to be celibate, we’d have the same genitalia as Ken and Barbie (none). So, get your single groove on but don’t be an ass about it. Just because it’s a one-night stand does not mean you have the right to treat the other as less of a person.
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