How little white lies quickly snowball into disaster
27 September 2015, 09:50
Let's face it, everybody lies. And sometimes telling a white lie is the socially responsible thing to do. But that depends on your intentions.
We’ve all been taught that lying is wrong, and yet we’re also taught that it is sometimes the kindest thing to do.
Sometimes I’d lie about something silly and superficial, and before I know it, it would spiral completely out of control. This often happens when you meet someone and you want to make a good impression.
For instance: Your acquaintance mentions a film you haven't watched and you casually lie that you have.
Before you know it they will go into an in depth critique of the movie and you will find yourself agreeing and making up all kinds of stuff. It might be a small thing, but it can lead to many difficult and unnecessary situations in the future.
However, the pressure of not sharing the common interests can be a damper on any conversation.
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I've been involved in many a conversation where I do tell the truth, of course. But when I admit to not being a fan of the musician/band/movie/sports team/etc that the other person is mad about, people are often put off and the conversation reaches a dead end.
But is it really necessary to lie about yourself just to get approval?
Well of course not.
There's a saying, 'what goes around comes around' and this is never more apt than when you get stuck in a cycle of lies. The only way for you to handle the situation is to allow the truth to set you free.
Being a liar can affect your security and once you develop a reputation for dishonesty, it will make everyone second-guess everything you say. This will lead to arguments, nasty break-ups and trust issues.
According to Psychology Today, these types of lies are told because people aren’t happy with themselves or their lives and they fabricate lies to impress others.
However there are times when you just cannot get out of a lie and you just have to go along with it. This can be because you are in a compromising situation and you want to spare others and yourself pain.
Is it that bad not to reveal the truth in these situations?
I’m all for a little white lie, but it’s the unintentional ones that make me question and aware of what I say or when I say it. I become so nonchalant about lying that I lose track of my lies or I start to believe them myself, potentially becoming a Mythomaniac. I feel myself constantly repeating Dolores Umbridge’s punishment, ‘I must not tell lies’, and whenever I do I solemnly swear that I really am up to no good.
In the words of Martin Luther, “A lie is like a snowball; the longer it is rolled, the larger it is.”
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