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Funny Sex Mishaps

07 October 2014, 08:10

Nairobi - Has something embarrassing ever happened to you, or him while in the sack? Our readers have some hilarious stories to tell.

Fender Bender

“My boyfriend and were taking a road trip and were driving through a long stretch of what was mostly empty fields. With no scenery to look at and a couple days on the road behind us we were running out of things to talk about and starting to get on each other’s nerves.

So we figured the roads were empty, the weather was good...why not have a bit of fun?

So I unbuckled my seat belt leaned over and got to work. We reached a well timed red light and just as things were getting exciting... CRASH! Someone came out of nowhere and rear ended us. The poor girl burst out of her car and came running towards us, obviously upset. All the while I’m screaming at my boyfriend to get his pants back on! We were so flustered that we told her not to worry about the damage. and drove off without even getting a phone number.”

Red Eye

“One day my boyfriend and I were sneaking in some early morning action and I took a moment to come up for air. Unfortunately my boyfriend also chose this moment to orgasm without warning, shooting a steady stream into my eye. I don’t know what he had been eating but it felt like someone poured lemon juice in my eye.

"It got so red that the entire day people kept asking me what was wrong because it looked as if I had been crying.  After the third inquiry it took some restraint for me to not say, ‘Yes I’m fine, my boyfriend just came in my eye.’  “

Broken Bed

“ During school I would regularly travel home with my boyfriend to visit his parents. They didn’t have a guest room, so when we were there we would often sleep in his childhood bedroom, which still had his old twin bed in it. One day we had the house to ourselves so we decided to get busy in the aforementioned twin bed; the bed however had other ideas.

The wooden planks that supported the mattress gave out and suddenly we and the mattress were on the floor. Not wanting to deal with it at the time we closed the door to his bedroom and went about our day. His parents, however, must have decided to go into the room while we were gone because when we returned the bed was repaired and perfectly made. Can you say awkward?”

Meddling Mother

“One day while fooling around I discovered a lump on my boyfriend’s balls. Knowing that young guys get testicular cancer I suggested he get it checked out. End of story, right? I wish. Instead, because apparently he was unable to make his own doctors appointment, he told his mom about the lump.

This wouldn’t have been a big deal except for the fact that she took it upon herself to corner me alone in the kitchen next time I saw her and begin an interrogation. ‘Have you seen it?’ ‘How big is it?’ ‘Is it bigger or smaller than a pea?’ “Is it soft or hard?’ I wanted to melt into the floor and die.”


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