Almost one in four women have cheated on their partners
17 October 2014, 08:19
Nairobi - Some 7 000 women responded to this year’s Women24 Female Nation Survey and, as usual, there were some interesting points to come out of what you shared. I’ve picked out some curiosities in the sections ‘Sex and Sensibility’ and ‘Date Expectations’...
24% of women have had affairs (14% of them married), and 1 in 4 married women suspect their partners of cheating.
Isn’t that interesting? The amount of women who admit to cheating directly corresponds to the number of women who suspect their partners may be cheating. I wonder how much of an overlap there is? A majority overlap would go a long way to mapping out some sort of projection on the part of the suspicious minds, don’t you think?
It’s worth noting that being suspicious doesn’t imply guilt. Although increased access to others – such as online communities, Twitter, Facebook etc – broadens the scope for ‘cheating avenues’, I don’t believe it encourages it.
If you or your partner are finding your emotional or sexual fulfillment outside of the relationship, the problem isn’t Facebook, it’s your relationship.
Sex and Passion
While women don’t necessarily want just more sex (only 5%), 24% want more passion in their sex lives.
I enjoyed this one. Would you want more sex if you’re not excited by the sex you’re getting? I can’t imagine there is any sexually switched on person who would say that more passion in their sex life is something they don’t care for.
But here’s the thing: Passion is really an attitude to life, not just sex. If you cultivate enjoyment and excitement for exploration, people and pleasure outside of the bedroom, you’ll be able to do so in the bedroom.
Sexual, emotional and intellectual chemistry is an important ingredient to a healthy relationship. But real passion is cultivated daily and with conscious effort to be more. If you want more passion, make it happen for yourself. And if the person you’re with isn’t playing with, the problem isn’t passion. It’s chemistry. Capiche?
87% still believe in the institution of marriage.
People seem oddly surprised by this stat. Although popculture would like to peg itself as over all of this wedding shmedding traditionalist nonsense, a booming wedding industry would beg otherwise.
I suppose the really interesting questions would rather be: Are you happily married? Do you think you got married for the right reasons?
We might still believe in the institute of marriage, but like any institution it’s only as strong as the long-term buy-in by the folks who support it.
And we should be questioning that buy-in.
I love the whole Gwynie ‘conscious uncoupling’ divorce term. But maybe if we focused more on the conscious coupling bit we wouldn’t be so surprised when marriage vows disintegrate after a few years.
53% meet dates through friends and family 14% use dating websites or apps.
Digital has really broadened our horizons in meeting and cheating, but in my experience people still hook-up for reals face-to-face and through collective connections.
Tons of my friends (and myself) have collected dates via online sources, but very few have made long-term connections. Whether it’s through work, friend circles or family, I imagine that we still ultimately need common ground. Which is why Tinder is traction.
21% of women will marry for money, while 37% of women say money issues cause the most conflict in their relationship (infidelity is at 37% and sex only 6%).
Money and sex are probably the two most fundamental working points of a relationship – and yet they’re two of the most avoided conversations.
It makes sense though I guess. Humans in general seem to avoid discomfort as far as possible and these two topics often touch on ego and deep-seated vulnerabilities and insecurities.
As for the 21% of women saying they would marry for money? I hear ‘security’ and ‘future options’ and it doesn’t seem unreasonable.
Transactional sex doesn’t just happen on the streets. Of course, if you’re getting your coin, aren’t you obligated to give your pound of flesh? Just asking.
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