5 things all social media junkies must know
14 February 2015, 16:48
*This article first appeared on Bianca's blog.
There are certain things in life that just can’t be denied, me being completely and utterly obsessed with social media is one of them.
You being completely and utterly obsessed with social media is another one of them.
No, no don’t even try, we all know the only reason you’re even reading this blog post is because I shamelessly shared it on every social media platform known to man and your inner social media junkie can’t not click on a link.
1. It Is A Truth Universally Acknowledged, That A Person In Possession Of A Smartphone Must Be In Want Of WiFi
Firstly, how on point was my play on words right there?
All up and on that Jane Austen, not going to lie I’m phenomenally proud of myself right now (insert ‘I-just-swagged-out-a-Jane-Austen-quote-like-a-boss’ dance here).
But lets not beat about the bush here people; we all know that places with WiFi are always instantly better than those without. Its just like how we kinda, sorta like our friends with WiFi just a teensy little bit more that we do the rest (just me? Well that got awkward really quickly).
Its nothing personal of course, its just that my heart feels physical pain every time I have to select the ‘mobile data’ option on my phone, its a serious tragedy to both my health and my wallet.
2. People almost always think you’re pooping when you go to the loo
The toilet is one of the few places one can go to relax, find inner peace and troll the internet for pictures of Zac Efron
shirtless reading a book without being judged.
This is all fine and dandy until you realise that you accidentally sat there with your pants down for 40 minutes and have now unconsciously ventured into poop town even though all you did was a quick, innocent little pee (and a thorough stalk sesh of Zac and/or bae)
3. Loadshedding is Slowly Ruining Your Life
Look, we all have our qualms about the electricity situation but it goes without saying that your qualms are exponentially higher when you are self-admittedly obsessed with the internet. You know that pain in my heart we talked about earlier?
Loadshedding gives about 24 of those pains, all at once.
4. You Have A Mild Panic Attack When You Wake Up And Your Phone Isn’t Snuggling Next To Your Face Where It Belongs
Your phone has a special place in your heart and like all such things (dogs, teddybears, chocolate), that translates to a special place on your bed (among the dogs, teddybears, chocolate).
There is nothing worse than groggily reaching over for your morning scroll and realising that your phone isn't in its spot. Thought you needed another 5 minutes in bed? Not anymore.
Cue the crazy-eyed, frantic search through your bedding and the moment of sheer joy when you find it.
5. 11th Like Syndrome
The act of constantly refreshing your Instagram feed in violent anticipation of the illustrious 11th like.
This act may be accompanied by a silent prayer, the editing in of an unsightly #likeforlike hashtag, and in extreme circumstances a quick whatsapp your best friend (girl, go like my selfie man).
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