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5 reasons not to have sex

14 December 2011, 11:47

If you can relate to any of the following, then it’s time to rethink your situation.

Let’s be real, girls. For women, sex is almost always MORE than just a physical craving.

It could be a reflection of our state of mind at the time, the quality of our current relationship or the way we feel about our bodies on a particular day. Clearly, there’s more than hormones raging out of control here. Beautiful, tender love-making also entices and influences our emotions.

So when you are in the mood for sex, do you ever think about why you truly want it? Is it because:

•    You are in love and want to express it physically?
•    You are so turned on in the moment, and a heady desire overwhelms you?

Or, is it because:

•    You are secretly insecure and use sex as a means to make you feel more worthy and better about yourself?

There are many good reasons to have sex. But there are also many bad – and stupid – reasons for it.

Here are some of them:

1.    Revenge

You are trying to get back, get even or hurt someone. This is particularly bad if you’re cheating on someone since you’re also exposing them to potential STDs. No matter how much you think it’s justifiable, there’s NEVER a good excuse to put someone else at risk.

2.    Expectations
You hope that by giving in, the other person will fall for you. This is the kind of emotional immaturity that you should have left behind you the minute you turned your back on high school. You can never force anyone to love you, it doesn’t matter how spectacular the sex is. Pack away your lingerie and grab a copy of He’s Just Not That Into You instead. Because if you’re reduced to playing games like this – offering your body – then, honey, it's safe to say that he probably isn’t looking for anything more.

3.    Facade
You use it to avoid dealing with other emotional grievances, like loneliness. The truth is, you’re opening yourself up for even more hurt when your emotions catch up with you. And believe me, they will.

4.    Ego trip
You prove you have control over another individual. It’s one thing to engage in a casual night of no-strings sex or kinky 'whips and chains' type of fun. But don’t foist your need for power and authority over an innocent guy. Figure out why you feel weak in the first place.

5.    Seeking validation

You lack confidence and seek approval. At some point, you’ll discover that sex is so much more enjoyable when you are self-assured and self-accepting. That post-orgasmic, hormone-induced high is short-lived. Instead of turning to sex, find real joy in yourself. Learn to love yourself. Yes, I know it sounds cheesy, but face it - it's true!

What other bad reasons to have sex can you think of? Impart your wisdom below or simply tell us what you think in the box below.

- Women24

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