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5 good reasons why you should quit being nice

05 June 2014, 15:35 Jean Grey

Abuja - As women, we’re often raised to be nice.

Pretty, sweet and accommodating, that’s us.

But there are fundamental problems with being nice 24/7. Here are a few good reasons to give up on the act.

1. It's not normal

Life is about polar opposites, and nature understands this best.

Think sun and moon. The sun doesn’t chill in the sky for 24 hours just because the moon cannot be arsed making an appearance.

Logically this should apply to everything in life – including being nice.

When your man’s been watching ruggers for the entire weekend while you’re slaving away at the stove, it’s time to bring on the opposite of nice.

Tell him you need help (nagging not included; men have an automatic “off” witch when it comes to this). And although it may be tempting, try (no pun intended) not to throw a ball at his head.

2. It's emotionally dishonest

Sometimes we’re nice because we don’t want to offend, feel like we are obligated to do something, or think that people may disapprove if we say no.

If you can’t do something – or someone acts in a way that goes against your boundaries, just say it.

Nothing is more enriching to a worthwhile relationship than being honest. The person understands your needs and limits, you get it off your chest and have a greater chance of getting those needs met.

Be sincere about it. Anyone who loves you will take it on board.

3. Damn, it's exhausting

Have you ever lifted weights? I haven’t, but I can imagine it’s bloody hard!

There is no need to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders; no one need to be a martyr.

If you think back, no trophies were ever handed out at school for being nice. It’s tiring when you accommodate the world because you feel like you need to please everyone.

Get help – and learn the most powerful word in the world – no.

4. You throw a pity party

Can we all hear the violins playing sad music in the background?

I’ve noticed that nice people tend to complain - a lot. About the raw deal they’ve been dealt, how no-one cares about their needs, how they’ve done this and that but no-one reciprocates.

My advice – stop being nice.

5. The bloody wrinkles!

I don’t care what anyone says – overextending yourself causes resentment, which causes stress, which causes wrinkles, which causes bankruptcy because anti-aging products are a fortune! (okay, the last bit is a slight exaggeration).

If nothing else convinces you to change your ways, let vanity be your guide.

Take it from a former nice girl: you don’t always have to be accommodating or be super woman. Besides, no-one ever looks good in a cape.

- Women24

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