21 ways to lose your lover
13 April 2016, 12:07
There was a spark between you from the moment you met. You had a feeling things could end up between the sheets, or at least you hoped so.
And then you had a drink too many, she needed someone to walk her home, you offered and the next thing that was on the agenda was a lot more exciting than coffee.
Yes, yes, you've heard it all a million times – don't use people for sex; never have sex without a condom; find out if someone is really single; does this person have long-term expectations and so forth.
By all means, be careful, but say any of the following and you'll be minus your possible sex partner faster than you can blink:
- You know I am only interested in friendship.
- I take it you took care of the contraception.
- Let me take that cellphone call – it may be something important.
- You won't believe how disinterested my wife was in sex.
- I was hoping the evening would end this way.
- Wait until my friends hear about this.
- You want me to do WHAT?
- I hope my mother doesn't walk in right now.
- I don't believe in all this stuff about safe sex.
- I haven't done this for years.
- The Alsation always sleeps there – I promise he won't bite.
- If I'd known this was going to happen, I would have washed the sheets.
- I hope my wife never finds out about this.
- I met my last partner at the STI clinic.
- I suppose if I want a child, I have to do this.
- Paul bet me KES 100 I could get you into bed.
- You must promise not to tell anyone about this.
- I hope we don't wake the twins in the next room.
- My friends gave me 12 dozen condoms for my birthday.
- I can never have sex when I am sober.
(Susan Erasmus, Health24)
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