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10 tips for braving long distance love

17 March 2016, 14:44 Shaina Herman

Have 'the talk'
You should probably have a bit of a chat about this giant elephant of a commitment before you decide to do it. First and foremost, figure out if this person is actually worth it, if you aren't sure...probably not.

And once you do, establish how the whole operation is going to go down.  How often will you visit each other?  Where is this relationship going?  Is the long distance permanent or temporary?  What level of commitment will you have?  It's different for every couple, but you can't build a house without some foundation, dammit! 

Trust that you aren’t crazy:
Ok, you are a little crazy, but not any more than usual.  They’ll be some crying and moments of weakness where you think that this whole deal totally sucks and you'll find yourself with ice cream, in bed, weeping.  The missing is the worst part, ugh.  You’ll survive & you're totally normal.

Hang out in your hood:
Wallowing in self pity while watching Love Actually can be cathartic but  it's probably not a great everyday occurrence.  The more active you are, the quicker the time goes.  So let your friends be your friends and pack away those sweatpants.

Be a confident queen bee:
Do you think the queen of all bees has time worry about the men in her hive messaging her back while they’re making honey?  No, she’s secure enough to know they are hard at work providing and protecting her sweet ass.  Sometimes someone doesn't communicate because they actually do forget, have lost connection, or are honestly busy.  Give your partner some leeway.  And remember how fucking awesome you are!

Don't be a cheater:
Look, people make mistakes, that's not what this is about.  But, if you or your partner continue to make 'mistakes' then you should question why you are in this relationship in the first place.  Long distance is for the committed. 

Little achievements:
Halfway, 3 more sleeps, going for a weekend away. Count that shit down!

Download as many tools for communication as possible:
We live in a world where we can talk every day, we're like the Jetsons!  Try - Whatsapp, Skype, Tango, sms, Facebook chat, Mixt, and the actual telephone.  So send messages and chat often, none of this nonsense about talking too much.  You find what works for you and do it. 

Make dates to hang out online:
Schedule times where you can virtually be together.  Make the same meal and eat it together with a video chat. Or watch a movie at the same time while smsing. Knowing the other person is there to talk to makes it feel like you are still doing the little things together too.

Sexting, phone sex, or any type of sexual communication is what’s separating your relationship from just being friends.  Plus, pushing your comfort zone in a safe space can bring your 'in person' sexy time to another level of trust and awareness.  

P.S. Double check who you send that naughty photo to, no matter how classy that open leg shot is, your mother is not going to appreciate the surprise.

Reminding yourself everyday of the greatest, most amazingly fantastic moment when you are reunited:
Ain’t love the best!

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